Day 50 – settling in

Hi guys, I’m doing well at Day 50. It’s starting to just feel normal. I do feel kind of “cracked open” at times, i.e. suddenly emotional, but today I was really into doing art stuff and writing and that felt pretty good. To the sad detriment of the household chores though! So I have to get on it for tomorrow, ’cause the hubster comes home lol. I loved being with the boys (my kids) tonight, I had pre-banned tech for the after-school period, we had an early dinner and then sat around doing arty stuff, it was a rare dream come true. At story time my youngest guy sat there “styling” my hair with a bath sponge and a toothpick, it was a real treat. So thanks god and Tree.

Lots of love, and hope you’re well,

xo st.

p.s. I suggested to the stock guy at the local shop that they move the non-alcoholic wines and beers out of the alcohol zone! So I’m getting braver! (Tried to find the post in which I previously mentioned that, alas, to no avail.) xo

p.p.s. I know I said I didn’t feel like counting days anymore but then the next day I did again… and well I’m just going with the feelings and the flow. Which really seems to be working for me. So there we go. :))

[Post-publish edit:] p.p.p.s. I wrote this post too quickly. I may have cut off tech for my kids but I  didn’t cut off tech for myself last night! I still have to work on that. I like to feel connected via writer’s social media. Still, for the boys it was great since they were busy with their own creative projects. My son is making things with his CNC router and the others are into popsicle-stick art and playing outside. I am still attached to writer social media like it’s a heroin drip. One thing at a time, though, right? ;)) I learned that from last time — not to try to get perfect all at once.

[Post post-publish edit:] p.p.p.p.s. Oh dear now I have said “I am still attached to writer social media like it’s a heroin drip” which feels “politically incorrect” since, for the record, I never once tried heroin…

I would also like to note for the record that the reason I never tried heroin, experimental and “researching” adventurer though I was in my wildish teens, is probably only because: 1) I thankfully was never was exposed to it, but that’s partly because I never wanted to be, partly because there was a HUGE stigma against heroin, unlike the fact that there was near-ZERO stigma in the “cool crowds” against alcohol and/or pot and/or even the occasional line of cocaine (this was the 80’s, people, and BTW any of you curious kids happening upon this: cocaine makes you unconsciously foam at the mouth, gives you crazy-eyes, and puts holes in your septum; highly unattractive, not to mention dangerously addictive and ridiculously expensive. It wasn’t my drug of choice for all those reasons, seemingly ubiquitous as it came to be during that era, but I got to see its awful and often violent side effects firsthand at certain parties.) 2) my parents provided a sheltering environment (i.e. I’m hereby acknowledging my lucky situational environment to begin with) 3) needles (yikes, blood, AIDS, scars, etc.) 4) there being a fair bit of preventative information about it going through the schools due to the AIDS epidemic at the time 5) my own library research (there was no world wide Interwebs back then) for an English lit essay on drugs — all of which pointed to the fact that even if you could get past 1 through 4, heroin wasn’t worth trying even once, due to its ridiculously addictive nature, as well as the risk/cost vs benefit. Thank you amazing lit teachers everywhere.

p.p.p.p.p.s. OMG have I said too much and with too many brackets

p.p.p.p.p.p.s. Yes I am a freak. But in a good way, right? :))

p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s. Word Wide Interweb — For Your Consideration (2006). Such an awesome movie.

11 thoughts on “Day 50 – settling in

  1. 💜 Courage! Congratulations on 50 days, my friend! The chores will always be there; the inspiration for your art may not. That’s when chores are good- I find that’s just when the inspiration comes! Hope that makes sense.🤔

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Elisabeth! 😍 It does make sense 🤩 and I’m just the same. I always feel stressed when my husband comes home though since I’m not sure if he agrees. 🧐😆


    1. Wonderful that you have that! We live in a remote area so AA and sponsors are not an option here. But I do find strength in the HP and here on WP via you all. So thank you! 😊🙌💛 the HP is major. After writing that post I lay in bed anxious but then “thought my gratitudes” and asked for guidance (i.e. prayed) and felt much better, instantly going to sleep after that. Great phrase about the cutting problems in half when you share them, so true and thanks again


  2. I wish they would move the AF stuff elsewhere but I don’t know what the rules are. I remember them carding my ex husband years ago for buying O’Douls. He asked if they carded for Nyquil which has more alcohol! I hate that when they split out the groceries in sections on my receipt that AF drinks are still lumped in under liquor! Uggh.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is so true about the Nyquil! Not to mention orange juice if Anne from ainsobriety is right! I feel like at least they could put the non-booze booze in one small section of the booze section, even if nothing else. Our local shop has a HUGE booze section, like several aisles of it plus wines and specialty beers interspersed throughout the other departments, so if they would just put all the 0.0% and 0.5% in one little section that would be way better. He seemed in perfect agreement but remains to be seen if it actually happens! xo


      1. Yes, ours is all mixed as well. You really have to look for the AF stuff. I supposed they prefer we get the real stuff and stay addicted…… I think if they had a huge AF drink section it would be purchased and begin to be considered special like organic. But…I suppose the alcohol industry has greater pull, however, and would fight against that! I wonder if my health food grocer, that doesn’t sell liquor, could stock AF stuff or if, because the alcohol content is minute, it has to be regulated by the alcohol industry or federal regulations.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Soooooo true about the way the industry works. I was thinking that… the suppliers are demanding certain placements of course, I guess that’s how it must work. Yes I wonder about the health food grocer question! Maybe the 0% ones? The Heineken’s I bought were 0.0%.


  3. How that phrase sums up the way I sometimes feel too ‘cracked open’. My emotions feel very raw at the moment but not always unpleasantly so?
    Great post. You are very, very funny:)

    Liked by 1 person

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