15:32. I’ve been away from here for awhile. I didn’t really think about drinking or sobriety from booze much, I guess that’s why. But I have recently had a couple of milestones or successes in that area, which I thought it might be helpful to document/share.
First one was that I managed to pass my first European-side-of-the-family major family gathering, at a place and with beloved folks I’m accustomed to making a lot of merry with, normally involving many shared glasses of wine, without even having a single urge to drink.
Second, I had our old friends and neighbours over for an impromptu gathering with a shared meal, again did not drink in spite of some mild peer pressure. These are my favouritest drinking buddies and our get-togethers always involved a lot of food and drink. That was much harder than the family gathering, because from the family there was no apparent notice that I wasn’t drinking, or at least no comment on it (I think they’ve heard via the grapevine a few times by now), and no pressure to drink. From the friends it’s different. It was a small gathering and I served them all the usual favourite alcoholic drinks but drank alcohol-free beer and wine myself.
These are the friends that said before they weren’t drinking anymore when we saw each other over the fence during the quarantine; that is no longer the case. But the cool thing is that it’s the first gathering we’ve had since I stopped drinking (we’ve had very few, since relations were also a bit strained) in which it did not feel awkward, i.e. like they could actually relax and just be themselves in spite of my not drinking.
It was fantastic to see them, I organized it in spite of my introverted husband’s reluctance; they were also a great help to us, showing up to help manage pouring a concrete floor, and helping prepare the meal. I felt so emotionally buoyed and energized after the whole evening, a vibe which carries through till today.
I woke up this morning raring to go, no headache, no “oh my god did I really say that,” no sore throat from smoking cigarettes either, as I used to; no regrets. My friend, who knows I was never a “bad drunk,” reasoned that it should be okay to just have one glass… but I already know from past experience it’s just a slippery slope for me to day-after-anxiety doldrums. So I explained that, and kept drinking my raspberry Tourtel Twist. And of course, being a good friend, she was okay with it.
So miracles can happen.
For anyone out there that needs to hear this… keep going, keep trying, keep strong. You will get there. It’s your life to live how you want to live it… even if it doesn’t fit the norm.
Sending much love
Edit 16:27. All gatherings were during times between quarantine and in accordance with Corona regs. And no I’m not just saying that. Very grateful that quarantine has been temporarily lifted. 🙏🙏 Amazing to connect with people besides one’s own household, face to face again. 💛