15:32. I’ve been away from here for awhile. I didn’t really think about drinking or sobriety from booze much, I guess that’s why. But I have recently had a couple of milestones or successes in that area, which I thought it might be helpful to document/share.
First one was that I managed to pass my first European-side-of-the-family major family gathering, at a place and with beloved folks I’m accustomed to making a lot of merry with, normally involving many shared glasses of wine, without even having a single urge to drink.
Second, I had our old friends and neighbours over for an impromptu gathering with a shared meal, again did not drink in spite of some mild peer pressure. These are my favouritest drinking buddies and our get-togethers always involved a lot of food and drink. That was much harder than the family gathering, because from the family there was no apparent notice that I wasn’t drinking, or at least no comment on it (I think they’ve heard via the grapevine a few times by now), and no pressure to drink. From the friends it’s different. It was a small gathering and I served them all the usual favourite alcoholic drinks but drank alcohol-free beer and wine myself.
These are the friends that said before they weren’t drinking anymore when we saw each other over the fence during the quarantine; that is no longer the case. But the cool thing is that it’s the first gathering we’ve had since I stopped drinking (we’ve had very few, since relations were also a bit strained) in which it did not feel awkward, i.e. like they could actually relax and just be themselves in spite of my not drinking.
It was fantastic to see them, I organized it in spite of my introverted husband’s reluctance; they were also a great help to us, showing up to help manage pouring a concrete floor, and helping prepare the meal. I felt so emotionally buoyed and energized after the whole evening, a vibe which carries through till today.
I woke up this morning raring to go, no headache, no “oh my god did I really say that,” no sore throat from smoking cigarettes either, as I used to; no regrets. My friend, who knows I was never a “bad drunk,” reasoned that it should be okay to just have one glass… but I already know from past experience it’s just a slippery slope for me to day-after-anxiety doldrums. So I explained that, and kept drinking my raspberry Tourtel Twist. And of course, being a good friend, she was okay with it.
So miracles can happen.
For anyone out there that needs to hear this… keep going, keep trying, keep strong. You will get there. It’s your life to live how you want to live it… even if it doesn’t fit the norm.
Sending much love
xoxoxo n/stl
***
Edit 16:27. All gatherings were during times between quarantine and in accordance with Corona regs. And no I’m not just saying that. Very grateful that quarantine has been temporarily lifted. 🙏🙏 Amazing to connect with people besides one’s own household, face to face again. 💛
That’s lovely to hear you are doing well. Enjoy the summer. Stay safe!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much LT, there is a lot to do this summer, but I will try, and same to you. :))
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh this is great, Nadine, and definitely helpful for me. A social triumph indeed. I’m so glad to hear it, and as always, so happy to hear an update from you! xoxo ❤️🌱
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awwww thank you Ms Newleaf!!! That truly warms my heart. 🤗🙏❤️😘🌱
LikeLike
Way to go, Nadine. My first in-law get together (eleven months after going dry) was brutal. It was absolutely the hardest weekend of sobriety I’ve had and one of the hardest weekends in general. 4.5 years away, I no longer get the peer pressure thing. Why do they care. It’s not who you are anymore. They need to decide if they like the new you and move forward from there. I’ve missed you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It really is difficult. I avoided all gatherings that involved drinking for that reason, as much as possible for what has felt like a long time. 4.5 years is inspiring. I agree on the setting the terms by which we live and people can take it or leave it. It’s easier for others as well if we are clear on where we stand. Awwww (on the missing me! :))!! I loved reading your blog today, very creative, I was a bit stumped for a comment since that enlarged tic image brought back some memories of removing the first one we spotted in one of our kids. They are very common here in the countryside. Thanks so much for your words and for reading mine. :))
LikeLike
Thank you for posting this: I’m heading for a big sobriety milestone and it’s good to hear of the progress of others: keep going strong 💪
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ingrid!! Awesome that you are on the sobriety track too!! I did not know that. Kudos to you as well and thanks so very much for the encouragement, it means a lot to me. 🙏💖🏋️♀️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great to hear you’re doing well Nadine ! xxx Anne
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Anne :)) 🌷❤️
LikeLike
Thank you so much for sharing this post. I’ve not had much luck with turning down drinks at social events recently but found new resolve this week. Reading about your successes and the fact it gets easier has given me hope. 😊 Huge congrats on not caving to the peer pressure!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks so much for your comment, it means a lot to me to have feedback like this!! Great blog name by the way. 👌👍 :)) It’s really challenging isn’t it. For me I avoided most social situations at first, and when I did anticipate a situation I always pre-thought what I would say and do (and still do), it was always the truth but never very much of it, and mainly I put my sobriety first, this time around, and that’s what made the difference. Hugs and thanks again for the encouragement. 🌷🌷🙏
LikeLike
Brilliant Nadine. I think the social occasions are the most difficult, for me anyway. In lockdown it’s almost been easy to pretend they don’t exist but I don’t want to avoid spending time with those I love and enjoy just because sobriety makes me feel awkward. This gives me hope that I’ll get there in the end. Have the fun, relaxed social life I enjoy without the booze. Great to hear from you xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes well said, this is exactly it in a nutshell! I’ve had the same issues, perhaps most of us do. It does get easier… and the benefits are something I take for granted at times but it’s so worth it. Thank you so much Claire, lovely to read you :))) xoxo
LikeLiked by 1 person
💕
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad you got some facetime with family and friends. And great to hear from you again. Sounds like you’re doing beautifully! 💕
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Collette! 💛💕
LikeLike
This is so awesome, Nadine! Very cool and encouraging! I was super happy to read your post today! In a couple weeks I am hosting a super small family only party for my graduate. No big graduation party this year for her unfortunately. We have some family with compromised immune systems so I decided to keep it small and outside. This is an event I would normally drink at. All preparation is generally on me, cleaning for it on me and I work a lot. Drinking “calmed” me as I crash do all of this……but it doesn’t actually calm me and by the time people arrive and all is “set” I am nothing but tired. (Drinking generally makes me tired.) But not going to happen at this gathering! Thanks for the encouragement to get it all done…without my “fake calm.” You have made me excited for this milestone!!!
Again, so great to hear from you and glad you’re doing well!!! ❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😃😃😃🎉🎉🎉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awwwww thank you Jackie and I am so so grateful to hear what’s going on with you!! I agree, I used to drink a glass or two of wine to “relax” while preparing, now that I am used to not doing that I find I am far less stressed out in fact!! I love your resolve and congrats again on your daughters grad. It will be awesome to connect with loved ones fully present and aware and with no next-day doldrums!! Hugs and love ❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗👯♂️💞
LikeLiked by 1 person
So great to see you, Nadine! Very happy that you’re so at home in your sobriety. Missed you, sister!😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey Elizabeth. Thank you so very much for the kind words. I was/am very grateful to be back to connect with this wonderful bunch. It feels lovely. 😊💛🤗
LikeLiked by 1 person
So nice to hear from you! I’ve missed you and as a result I think I’ve developed a fondness for trees! 😂 Such a positive story I love it! I have coped fine with a family party but still struggle with some friends socially so hardly go out so this has reminded me it can be good! Love and hugs xx💞💞
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi glad to find your site! We sound very much alike in terms of our drinking habits / goals. It’s always helpful to hear other experiences of “stick with it, it will get better” which is what’s motivating me to try out full sobriety in the first place. I’m apprehensive about giving it up completely, but excited to see how much better I might feel….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good to hear an update Nadine. I’ve had my wobbles so really encouraging to read what you have to say x
LikeLiked by 1 person
yay! and well done…..always great to her these success stories …i need them badly atm!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awesome! I’m at the beginning of my journey and so looking forward to successes such as these
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nadine!
You are doing a fantastic job! Keep it up, my friend.
Social events are always a challenge for old drunks.
I always have a plan for events like these:
1.) Arrive late
2.) Leave early
3.) Always drive myself
4.) Never explain why I’m not drinking booze. Normies just say, “No thank you,” and that it.
5.) Set an alarm on my phone for when I should leave (preferably before the party is full of drunks)
6.) If I am nervous about going or drinking there, don’t go. Life will continue and a true friend/family member would understand.
These are pretty simple and they have worked well for me.
Great to see your post Nadine. Sorry I was late to the show
Happy Days!
Bryan B
LikeLiked by 1 person
Inspiring. Keep with it, ODAAT.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey Nadine! Hope you are well? Miss you and was curious if you have another blog? 😊🤗 dhyde66@gmail.com
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah a belated thank you very much for this Dwight. Yes I have (or had) two other regularly active ones – bloomwords and liathepoet. :)) A bit shy about it all but very happy if you find me there… I saw your comment on a fellow poet-blogger’s post and “liked it” – it was so wonderful to “see” even that bit of you in the blogosphere. The poetry site (which is currently active again) came after this sobrietytree site, partly as a result of it… and the sobrietytree site essentially sprang out of the bloomwords site. I haven’t much liked to reach out from the poetry account as I don’t want to unintentionally “inflict” my words on people? Which maybe makes no sense since I love when genuinely well-meaning people reach out to me through their blogs… (shrug). :)) But anyway. See you there maybe. :)) Else here is wonderful. Thanks again xoxox 🤗🌷💕
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just noticed I messed up my email address..it’s hyded66@gmail.com. Excited to check them out❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, I am glad I didn’t email ‘you’ then haha! :)) Thanks for the correction. :)) xoxo
LikeLiked by 1 person